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It will give both of you the space and balance needed to show you are interested in what each other is saying, and want to hear more.Whether you're online, on the phone, or face to face, you need to keep the conversation going back and forth -- what I call the tennis match. Take Turns Leave room for your partner to open topics, to express opinion, to gather thoughts and express opinions.* One may threaten to leave in order to get his or her way.* One wants more together time and the other wants more space.On the other hand, a couple who understand boundaries and who are committed to equality and mutual satisfaction are far more likely to create love and partnership they deeply treasure.Each person has individual needs for closeness and personal space as well as other needs to feel nurtured, understood and autonomous within a relationship.

* One will be alert to the moods of the other -- often walking on eggshells not to upset the other.Volleying the Conversation The tennis match is so central to balancing all your relationships and allowing them to find their appropriate levels that I've developed some guidelines you can use to understand and promote intimacy.Following the guidelines will help you and your partner understand each others' needs and wants, and create natural boundaries that feel .Don't keep hitting balls over the net if they're not returned.On the other hand, if you never hit the ball, but always wait for the other person to do it, you aren't playing a very good tennis game, either.

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